Here are some pick up line that I thought people like me may use during those nights when you sit in a corner of that bar and pick up humans for a change . I may add a few more soon. So in the meantime, enjoy!

Top Ten Bestial Pick Up Lines:

10. Wanna ride my horse?

9. How would you like to make our animal friends happy?

8. Wanna get in touch with your animal side?

7. I have a big snake for a pet.

6. You have a cat? That’s PURRfect!

5. My horse and I could give you riding lessons.

4. I’ve got THREE animals at home. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink . . .*

3. My doggy can do a lot of tricks.

2. I need help. My love life has gone to the dogs.

And the Number One Bestial Pickup Line IS:

1. You love animals. I love animals. Let’s do it.

Return of the Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines

Read it and laugh your hearts out..

More Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines

So what were you and Buster(the dog) doing alone in the woods at THAT time of the night? (As IF we DIDN’T already guessed….)

Here pussy, pussy. Wanna come out and play?

Can I join you in taking Rover out for a walk?

What exactly will we do in a petting zoo, Honey?

Dog damn it!!! I suck!!! I suck!!!

Hot Dogs!!! Get yer Hot Dogs here!!! Large and juicy Hot…..Dogs!!!

Girl: I want a horse for my Birthday!
Dad: What will you do with a horse?
Girl(Pauses for a moment): Ride on it?

Whoa! That elephant is HUGE!

It was a dogday afternoon.

And last but not the least bestial sexually slanted line (drum roll please)….

Fucking horse….!!! He SUCKS!!!!

Hey! I got ya another one. Enjoy!!!

I cannot bear to see a man of Nowhere
Banging down upon a mare.
When bare of wear he fucks the mare,
Right there I cry, “Forbear!”

I got ya another one!!! Enjoy!!!

Mr. Don owned a monkey.
And Mr. Key owned a unicorn.
Now Don’s monkey owned Key’s unicorn
Before Don own Key,
Which made Key’s down sore.
Had Don suck Key’s unicorn
Before Key sucked Don’s monkey,
Don’s monkey would not have sucked
Key’s unicorn.
So Don’s ‘key sucked Key’s ‘orn.
But it was sad to see Key so sore
Just because Don’s ‘key sucked
Key’s ‘orn!

Signs That Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Understand You’re into Animal Sex

10: She wonders why you keep on taking her to petting zoo during dates.

9: She wonders why you spend more time with Lassie, your dog, you do on her.

8: You spend countless hours trying to convince her that being a bitch is not necessarily a bad thing.

7: You find yourself saying, “Come on over, Beast Wars just finished.”

6: “No, No honey, I wasn’t being unfaithful. When I said I had pussies for company, I meant REAL pussies. No! I MEAN CATS! No Honey! I am NOT gay! I meant REAL cats! Animals! Honey? Come back…please?”

5: You tell her you that your dog sleeps with you in your room without mentioning that the two of you do more than just sleep.

4: After having a fight, your sent her a poem. Unfortunately, you copied it from this site.

3: She doesn’t like going into your room because she feels that all of your pets are staring at her.

2: You find yourself forever explaining to her that , ME: Animals You: Shoes

And the number one sign that your Girlfriend doesn’t understand you’re into Animal Sex……

1. You tell her that you want to do it doggy style and she says, “Why did you bring that damn dog with you?”

And here’s another one for you to enjoy!!!!

A bitter bitching bitch
Bitched a biting broken stud,
And the bitched broken stud
Bitched the bitcher bitch back.
And the bitter bitch, bitched,
By the broken bitched stud,
Said: “I’m a bitter bitched bitch, alack!”

Say this one very fast while having a drinking game with your furry friends!!! Twist your tongues out, people!!!!

Peter Fucker fucked a flock of fuckered fowlers.
Did Peter Fucker fuck a flock of fuckered fowlers?
If Peter Fucker fucked a flock of fucked fowlers,
where’s the flock of fuckered fowlers Peter Fucker fucked?